


Never Forget (Until It's All You Can Do)

by IcyPanther



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Deaged lance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Memory Loss, Protective Hunk (Voltron), Sort Of, Young Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:13:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyPanther/pseuds/IcyPanther
Summary: Lance has a problem. Maybe. He thinks so at least. It’s sort of hard to remember things these days. But itfeelslike something is off. Wrong. He thinks he needs help. But… help for what? Wait… Why does he need help again?Or; Lance develops amnesia that starts as short term memory loss and steadily grows worse. The team can only watch with rising despair as the Lance they know fades away memory by memory with the cruel knowledge that unless they come up with some miracle cure Lance will forget how to function, how to live. And then… Lance will die.
Relationships: Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) & Everyone
Comments: 358
Kudos: 899





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> **Timeline notes:** Later season four  
>  **Warning notes:** None

“Hunk, this smells amazing,” Lance could feel drool forming as Hunk placed the serving tray in the center of the table, steam wafting from the space chili. “You outdid yourself, _hermano.”_

“Aww,” Hunk ducked his head even as a grin split it, growing wider as the sentiments were echoed around the table and Pidge even stood up from her seat to try and reach it before Hunk rapped her hand gently with the large ladle. 

Coran assisted in the serving and within the dobash everyone had steaming bowls in front of them and Lance eagerly reached for his utensils.

He frowned a second later.

Somehow he’d been given a fork. That wasn’t going to work for chili.

He pushed his chair back and drew every eye as it _screeched_ on the metal floor.

“Lance?” Hunk asked, setting down his own bite of chili. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s cool,” Lance grinned, “or should I say, “chili?” and Pidge groaned at the horrible pun while Shiro let out a cough that might have hid a laugh. “I got a fork somehow. Just need to grab a…” 

A…

Lance looked at the object in Hunk’s hand. 

That.

That thing. 

What was it called?

Why could he not remember?

It was a…

A...

“ _Cuchara,”_ he nearly gasped the word out, but no, that wasn’t quite right either.

“Coo char a?” Pidge repeated and Lance felt something close to panic that he couldn’t fully explain clawing at his chest at her confusion.

What was it?

Why couldn’t he remember?

What was it what was it what was—?

“Spoon,” Hunk translated from the Spanish version and Lance pointed his fork at Hunk with a breath of relief.

Yes.

That.

“Spoon,” he said it aloud, solidifying the word on his tongue. “Just need to grab a spoon. Wow, hah,” he brought a hand sheepishly behind his head, “can’t believe I forgot that.”

“I recently forgot the word for a Hornbackled Slonpie’s female baby,” Coran chimed in. “It’s a Slonpielpielowbia, I still can’t believe I had forgotten.”

“Can’t believe it either,” Pidge said straight-faced and Allura hid a laugh behind her _spoon_ and just like that Lance felt everything return to normal.

xxx

“Where were you?”

Lance generally liked being singled out for attention by Allura, but this time her eyes were narrowed and to his surprise it was mimicked not just by Shiro but to a lesser degree Pidge although Hunk a mixture of concerned and guilty as they all entered the kitchen where he was slurping down a bowl of food goo, swinging his legs idly at the counter.

All of them were in Paladin armor and Lance felt severely underdressed in just his street clothes and he had the horrible sinking sensation in his stomach that he had missed a meeting.

An important one.

“Um…”

“We had a meeting with the Plarion High Council,” Allura said, and Lance hated how it didn’t even ring a bell, not in the slightest, “in which all Paladins of Voltron were asked to attend. We…” she paused and Lance had almost never seen Allura at a loss for words, at the warring of despair and anger in her face, “we needed you there, Lance. The… the alliance fell through.”

What?

He…

He hadn’t…

“I’m sorry,” the words came out barely a whisper, high and breathy. “I… I forgot.”

Not just forgot.

He didn’t remember it at all.

And this…

This wouldn’t have been something said offhand at dinner one night, not something of this importance that _he’d just messed up._ He might have thought it a cruel prank if not for how genuinely upset everyone was and that Hunk was not denying their words.

“That isn’t acceptable, Lance,” and Shiro’s voice was _hard_ and Lance fought the urge to flinch even though he still couldn’t make himself meet that that hot charcoal gaze. “You were briefed just last night on the importance of this alliance and you knew the consequences if we did not all present our best front. I’m… I’m disappointed in you.”

Lance did flinch that time.

Allura upset with him, while horrible, was not entirely a new thing.

Shiro…

His hero, his leader...

He swallowed thickly.

 _Dios,_ he’d really messed up.

But the worst part?

He still didn’t remember any of this.

It sounded exactly as it was: an excuse.

And it was as Shiro said. It was unacceptable.

“You’re hereby suspended from all Voltron duties,” Shiro said, and Lance jerked his head up, horror taking over the guilt because no, no, he couldn’t do that, “barring a universe-threatening emergency for the next movement. You are confined to your quarters barring group training sessions, meals, bathroom breaks and any chores issued to you during this time as well. You are not to have visitors over, you are not to contact anyone via the transmission system, and you are not to engage in any entertainment type activity while in your quarters. Understood?”

Lance felt speechless.

Shiro couldn’t…

He couldn't…

And yet…

“Lance,” Shiro’s voice grew shaper. “Do you understand?”

Lance gave a mute nod and desperately tried to blink back the tears forming.

He hadn’t felt this chastised since Iverson had reamed him out in front of the entire class. 

But this…

This was worse.

This was so much worse.

And no one else said _anything._

Lance couldn’t look at them, blurry eyes trained at his half-empty bowl of food goo.

“Then dismissed. Report immediately to your room.”

Lance slipped off the stool, head ducked down.

He faintly heard Hunk’s whisper of his name but he didn’t look up, didn’t engage.

He passed the group — the real Paladins of Voltron who didn’t screw up, didn’t hurt the universe the way he just had — and entered the hallway.

And then he fled to his room before his tears could fall.

xxx

“Lance!” Pidge whisper-hissed his name and Lance paused mid-step, the grin sliding off his face at the tone and the scowl on Pidge’s face.

“And good morning to you too, Pidgeon,” he tried for something light, voice bright and cheery, but Pidge still only looked angry and now… scared? and she glanced nervously down the hall towards their quarters.

“Get back to your room!” she gave him a hard shove in the direction he’d just come from. “Do you want Shiro to catch you? God, what the fuck, Lance?”

What?

Shiro catch him?

Why would Shiro be upset he was out of his room? It wasn’t overnight and they didn’t have a curfew anyways and it’s not like he was getting into trouble; he was going to Red’s hangar to give her a good buffing as he couldn’t remember when he’d last checked her for dings and scratches.

“I—”

“Do you not understand what grounded means?” Pidge grabbed his arm when he failed to move, tugging him and he followed out of sheer confusion. “God, first you forget the Plarion High Council and now this? What has gotten into you?”

Plarion High Council…?

Why did that sound somewhat familiar?

Lance stumbled on his next step, face paling.

The Council.

He’d missed the meeting.

And… and…

And Shiro had…

He’d forgotten.

How had he forgotten? He’d spent nearly the entire night tossing and turning and feeling sick with guilt and wanting to do _something_ to make up for all he’d cost them but he hadn’t been able to think of what and then he’d gotten up to take a shower and then...

Then he’d gotten dressed and gone to visit Red.

How had he forgotten?

“—ance? Hello?” A small hand waved in front of his face and Lance started. “Can you hear me?”

Lance was alarmed to see that the anger had all but disappeared and taking its place was a fear that didn’t abate even as he gave a mute nod.

Fear he had put there.

And he...

He was scared too.

“Pidge,” he tried to speak, to say something before he forgot it again, but somehow they’d made it to his room and she was all but shoving him in, looking over her shoulder towards Shiro’s room.

“Don’t come out till lunch,” she ordered, and a _whoosh_ later his door closed.

xxx

Lance spent the morning writing down the rules of his essential grounding. 

They hurt to look at, a reminder of how much he’d _failed,_ but he needed to remember them so he didn’t make things worse.

Even though…

Even though he knew he needed to go. He needed to talk to someone because something…

Something was _wrong._

He was forgetting things. Short term memory, maybe.

He wasn’t sure.

And wasn’t that just ironic?

He wracked his brain trying to remember what he had forgotten, or when he’d started to forget things, but he couldn’t remember.

It scared him.

When was the last time they’d trained? A, a few days ago, he was pretty sure. Had he taken a head injury? He didn’t recall. A touch of his head yielded no bump or lingering pain and surely he’d have to have _something_ there.

Had he been in a fight? 

He remembered flying with Red somewhat recently. And there’d been that battle on that weird green leafy planet. He… he didn’t remember the details of it though; just fuzzy glimpses of ground fighting and he thought he remembered at one point he’d used his bayard.

Had something happened there? 

He couldn’t remember.

What, he swallowed thickly, cuddling his pillow to his chest where he’d curled up on his bed, what if he was getting onset dementia? What if this was a medical condition and it was going to get worse?

If that was the case…

He’d never be able to be a Paladin of Voltron again. Forget one week, it’d be _forever._

What did he do?

He wrenched his eyes shut but his eyelids didn’t hold the answers.

They did help hold in the sudden stinging of tears.

He just…

Why was this…?

A sob borne of fear and frustration and the still sick guilt he couldn’t shake wrenched its way out of his throat and he buried his face in the pillow to muffle it. 

He just wanted to be a good Paladin. He wanted to help people. He finally felt like he was _something_ and if this, this _illness,_ got out… he wouldn’t be something anymore.

He’d be nothing.

They’d call Keith back from the Blade and he’d take over as Red Paladin and Lance…

Lance would be nothing, be a _cargo pilot,_ once again.

He couldn’t say anything.

And yet…

Yet if he didn’t say anything and he hurt the team, hurt the universe _again,_ this guilt would feel like nothing. He couldn’t afford to be selfish. 

He had to tell them. 

The admission hurt, it felt like someone had plunged a dagger into his heart, but it also untwisted some of the guilt. 

This…

This was the right course.

He would tell them and maybe…

Maybe there would be something Coran could do. He’d even go in the pods again, shuddering at the thought of those cramped, narrow spaces, but he would do it if it would help.

Yes.

He would do that.

He’d go now. Tell them now. 

Lance wiped his tears away, counted out two minutes to let his cheeks become less blotchy, his eyes less red, and taking a deep breath he headed out of his room for the kitchen where everyone should be gathered for lunch.

Tell them.

Tell them.

He would tell them. 

He paused two hallways down, brow creasing in confusion.

Tell them…

What?

He had a niggling feeling it had been something important but it wasn’t coming to him.

He shrugged.

Oh well.

He was sure if it was that important he’d remember it soon.

xxx

Lance was grounded.

He was grounded.

He had to keep repeating it to himself as despite the fact he should remember it, horrible as it was, he kept forgetting.

Shiro had let him firmly know though that evening when Lance had come down to the lounge, intending to see if anyone wanted to watch a movie, and he’d been marched back to his room with a lecture and how his lack of respect for his punishment was not funny and most definitely not behavior befitting a Paladin of Voltron and Lance had never felt so _ashamed_ and when he’d try to speak up, to apologize even though he didn’t know what for, Shiro had cut him off with an " _I'_ _m done hearing excuses, Lance. This isn't a simulation. There aren’t do-overs. And not everything can be fixed with an apology.”_ His voice had softened some but the words had not hurt any less. _“If you want to remain on this team you need to grow up. This isn’t a game. This is war. And you need to remember what you’re fighting for.”_

Lance knew he’d never forget those words. They were seared into his brain in a never ending circle of how badly he must have screwed up. 

Shiro had told him he was to report for training at eight sharp tomorrow and unless he was grabbing breakfast before he had better not be wandering outside of the residential corridor.

Lance set his alarm, made sure the notes he’d found on his dresser in his own handwriting — and that was terrifying as he didn’t remember writing them but he must have and something was _wrong_ but the only thing wrong was him because he’d messed something up, something bad, and the least he could do was make sure didn’t do it again and listen to Shiro — that detailed the rules of said grounding were front and center so he couldn’t miss them, and crawled into bed.

Maybe…

Maybe this was some giant nightmare.

And he just had to wake up.

It would all be better in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commission fic (10k) of Lance with degenerative!amnesia (I made that up xD but best way I can think to describe it;p). Supposed to post last week but AO3 had all the notification issues >> And yes, this is Kuron!Shiro, please note timeline.
> 
> If you are enjoying the fic, please leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!). Emotional support and validation for authors is super important and your comments mean the world. **_Please, please, please_** don’t just be a page click or a kudo. Thank you! Also fyi; comment engagement will dictate the update schedule :)
> 
> (Like my works? Want to read more? Find details on my [Tumblr, icypantherwrites](http://www.icypantherwrites.tumblr.com)).


	2. Two

Lance arrived to the training room promptly at eight as he always did.

Shiro, Pidge, Hunk and Allura, although she was for some reason dressed in armor but maybe she was going to be training with them and how _sweet_ would that be?, were already there. 

Their reactions were a little strange too. Shiro gave him a curt nod although that wasn’t entirely abnormal as Shiro could get _really_ into training and was laser focused, but Allura averted her eyes (had one of his flirtations been too much?), and while Pidge and Hunk met his eyes they both looked worried. 

Was the training going to be that bad?

And then—

“All right,” Shiro spoke in his training-mode-voice that always made Lance straighten up. “Today we’re—”

“Wait, wait,” Lance raised a hand as he interrupted as at least that was more polite than just butting in, especially as Shiro seemed particularly stern today, but he had to say something. “Aren’t we gonna wait for Keith?”

Silence met his question and out of the corner of his eye he saw Pidge and Hunk exchanging a glance. 

What?

“Seriously?” Lance plowed into the silence. “You guys all forgot the mullet? I mean, just, _how?_ That hair alone not to mention the whole angry jerk—”

“Lance,” Shiro’s tone was biting. “ _Enough.”_

Lance’s eyes widened with hurt.

What…

What was happening?

“Shiro,” Hunk’s voice was high and he was wringing his hands. “Wait. I… I think something’s wrong.”

“Yes, there is,” Shiro’s eyes narrowed and Lance swallowed thickly at such… such _anger_ directed at him. “I’m done with these games, Lance.”

Games?

What games?

What was he talking about?

“No,” and Hunk stepped forward, placing himself between Shiro and and Lance and Lance’s breath caught at the clear show of protection.

Hunk was protecting him from… Shiro?

What…

What was happening?

“Shiro, something is _wrong,”_ Hunk emphasized the word. “Just listen. Please.”

Shiro’s lips were a thin line but he said nothing and Hunk pivoted, able to watch both Shiro and Lance.

“Lance,” Hunk addressed, “where do you think Keith is?”

“Um…” Lance licked his lips.

Was this a trick question? But Hunk wouldn’t trick him. And he looked so _concerned._

“In his room?” Lance hedged. 

“And what Lion does Keith fly?”

Allura sucked in a harsh inhale to the side.

Lance didn’t get it, this strange game of twenty questions but answered if only to humor Hunk and maybe, maybe take that anger from Shiro’s expression. “The Red Lion.”

Pidge made a choking noise.

“And, and what Lion do you fly?” 

“Uh, Blue,” Lance raised an eyebrow. He gestured at his armor in the same shade. “Duh.”

“Holy fuck,” Pidge breathed.

Shiro didn’t reprimand with his regular call of “language,” that had no affect on Pidge. Instead…

Instead he looked shocked.

“There’s your answer, Shiro,” Hunk’s voice was harder and Lance nearly jumped as his best friend’s hand settled on his shoulder. 

Lance swiveled his head, as while the confusion seemed to have been cleared up he was only moreso.

“Um, what answer, exactly?” he asked tentatively. 

“Lance, what is the last thing you remember prior to this morning?” Pidge asked, and there was something _desperate_ in her voice that made his heart skip a beat.

“Uh, I…” 

Why was thinking suddenly so hard?

Why was everything fuzzy?

His heart pounded in his chest, a thudding sensation that matched suddenly heavy breaths and he swayed, dizzy.

“Whoa whoa,” he heard Hunk murmur and a moment later he found himself being lowered to the floor, head hanging beneath his raised knees and a warm hand rubbing his back. “Deep breaths, _hermano.”_

“—fetch Coran,” Lance faintly heard Allura say while Pidge was saying something about water and another hand joined Hunk’s on his back, this one far heavier than any human limb.

Shiro.

Lance shuddered out a breath as the hand gently moved in a circle.

Shiro wasn’t mad at him anymore.

And while that didn’t fix whatever was going on it made breathing a little easier.

The dizziness subsided as quick as it came on and Lance carefully lifted his head to find both Shiro and Hunk kneeling on either side of him and Pidge in front, a water pouch in hand, that she held out to him. Lance wasn’t all that thirsty but he took it for something to do with his hands, shaking and he didn’t know why, with a quiet thank you.

“What’s…?” he licked his lips, gaze darting between the three of them, “what’s…?”

‘What’s wrong with me?’

He couldn’t say it.

Why couldn’t he remember things?

“We’re not sure,” Shiro’s voice was gentle, the soothing timbre tones that always made Lance feel safe. “We’re going to find out though.” Shiro took in a deep breath. “I’m… I’m sorry, Lance.”

Lance jerked his head up.

What?

Shiro was apologizing?

He didn’t need to do that. 

He—

“No,” Shiro held up his other hand as Lance opened his mouth. “I should have listened to you instead of just… just grounding you.”

Lance’s eyes widened. “You grounded me?”

“Motherfucker,” Pidge muttered. 

“You’re ungrounded now,” Shiro said, once more not telling Pidge off for her language. “Okay?”

“Okay…” Lance said uncertainly even as he felt something lurch in his chest.

What… what had he done that Shiro had felt he needed to be punished? 

Quiet descended then and for once Lance didn’t feel the urge to break it as something uncomfortable was twisting his stomach and he was afraid if he spoke he might pull a Hunk. 

A flurry of footsteps sounded a few minutes later and Lance looked up as Coran knelt down in front of him by Pidge and Allura hovered behind them, her hands twisted in one another and looking far more worried than a princess should.

Lance should have felt touched that Allura was clearly so worried about _him_ but it only made his stomach hurt more. 

Something was _wrong._

“All righty,” Coran’s voice was still chipper and Lance drew strength from it, from the steady jeweled eyes that caught his own. “I’m going to run a quick diagnostic scan on you, my boy,” Coran held up a small device, “and see what we can find. All right?”

It was a far better plan in Lance’s mind then having to go into a pod and so he nodded without hesitation. 

“Numbers One and Two if you could step back, I don’t want any interference for the scanner.”

Lance felt oddly exposed as everyone gathered themselves behind Coran and looked down at him, all standing save for Coran and Pidge, and the scanner was pointed in his direction.

“It’s not going to hurt, right?” his question came out higher pitched than he’d like but he couldn’t shake the off feeling.

“Not at all,” Coran reassured. “You might feel a little heat but that will be it.”

Lance gave another nod.

Okay.

That was okay.

Coran flicked the scanner on and a soft teal beam emitted. 

It was indeed warm, but like the sun on a chilly day. 

Despite all of the stares in his direction Lance felt himself relaxing under it as Coran scanned him from head to toe and then kept it focused on his head, circling around for all angles. The light shut off a few minutes later and Lance was not the only one who looked immediately to Coran, who was reading the screen with a decidedly neutral expression.

“Coran?” Allura prompted and Coran held up a finger for a moment — Lance had the deja vu sensation of having taught him that although he didn’t remember doing so — and looked to Lance directly then.

“I have good and bad news,” he said. “The good news is you are in perfect health, lad. The bad news is... you are in perfect health.” Coran shook his head, glancing back down at the screen. “There are no anomalies here, nothing to indicate your body, nor mind as all brainwaves appear normal, is in any way compromised.”

“But his memory is all messed up,” Pidge said bluntly and Lance whirled to her.

“What?” it came out a croak. “No it isn’t.”

So what if he apparently couldn’t remember a couple details? No one could remember everything.

“Lance,” Hunk’s voice was gentle and Lance turned back to him. “ _Hermano…_ You’re the pilot of the Red Lion.”

Lance felt like he’d just been punched.

He…

He wasn’t Blue’s Paladin?

“Keith isn’t here anymore; he joined the Blade of Marmora. He… he hasn’t been here in almost a month.”

Lance’s head reeled. 

“But…” he glanced down, his armor color still blue. “But… I…” He swallowed. “I’m… I’m not Blue’s Paladin?”

That hurt.

It hurt so much.

An ache he couldn’t begin to describe filled his heart and the sudden, harsh, sense of _loss_ made him feel sick again. 

He…

He wasn’t Blue’s Paladin.

But…

But he hadn’t been for a while.

He just…

Didn’t remember.

He didn’t remember whole _months_ of his life. 

_Dios._

_Dios Dios Dios._

He became aware that the others were talking around him and Hunk had moved back to his side and he concentrated on that familiar presence, on the arm wrapped snugly around his shoulders.

At least that still made sense.

“—he was not this confused yesterday,” Allura was saying.

“How would we know?” Hunk demanded, voice surprisingly hot. “He was in his room all day and not allowed to talk to anyone.”

“I saw him yesterday morning,” Pidge piped up. “He forgot he was grounded but he was trying to go towards Red’s hangar so he still thought he was the Red Paladin then.”

“He was still the Red Lion’s Paladin though when Number Four was here,” Coran chimed in. “While Number One was missing.”

Lance closed his eyes as the others continued to talk, to throw out names and dates and titles that he had no knowledge of.

Shiro had gone missing?

Keith had been the Black Paladin?

Allura was the Blue Paladin? Who drove the castle then?

Air shows? Lance had a fleeting memory of something of that, of bright lights and screaming crowds and he tried to cling to it but it was swept away with more questions.

Who was Lotor?

“—maybe Matt can—?”

Pidge had found her brother? When? How?

Rebels? 

What was the Coalition?

“—Druid magic?—”

When had he fought a Druid? When had he even _seen_ a Druid?

They kept talking.

His head hurt.

His stomach hurt.

“Hunk,” he whispered, gripping at Hunk’s arm for something, anything, to ground him, water pouch abandoned to the floor.

“Guys,” Hunk interjected loudly into the conversation, “Quiet.”

Lance let out a breath as all of the noise and questions came to a stop.

“We are sorry, Lance,” Allura said softly and he startled as her hand came to rest on his shoulder. “This must all be very confusing.”

He managed a nod around a suddenly tight throat that did not abate at all as Allura did not remove her hand, only giving him a squeeze. 

“Lance, lad,” Coran summoned his gaze, “I’m going to do a little test, all right? I’m going to tell you a word and I want you to repeat it back to me whenever I ask. Ready?” 

Lance nodded, not trusting himself to talk.

“The word is… caterpillar,” Coran said. “Can you repeat it for me now?”

“C-caterpillar,” and oh _Dios_ did he just stutter? but no one said anything and both Hunk and Allura only gave him little squeezes.

“Let’s start with what you remember, my boy,” Coran said. “You don’t have to recall any specific event for us but let’s try to establish a timeline. I’ll ask you some questions and you can just answer yes or no to if those things are familiar to you. Does that sound okay?”

Lance nodded.

“Do you believe you are the Red Paladin?”

Lance paused. He knew that because Hunk had just told him, but…

He whispered out no.

“Do you remember Allura ever being a Paladin?”

No.

“What word did I give you?”

“Caterpillar,” he whispered.

Coran continued.

“Do you recall that Keith is part Galran?”

Yes. He remembered that, the trials, how, how _angry_ Allura had been.

“Do you remember the fight with Zarkon?”

Lance could see flashes of it, of remembered panic when Voltron had been disassembled. 

“Do you remember that you were grounded yesterday?”

A nod.

“Do you remember why that was so?”

Lance bit his lip. 

He wasn’t sure.

He saw the others exchanging looks and Hunk’s hand tightened on his shoulder. 

“Do you remember Shiro actually telling you of your punishment? Or are you recalling what we’ve told you here?”

“I…” Lance swallowed. “I don’t remember him…” his eyes flicked to Shiro who looked so _guilty_ that it hurt to see.

“What word did I give you?” 

“Caterpillar.”

“Good lad,” Coran gave him an encouraging smile that Lance could not return. 

“All right, what did you eat for dinner last night?”

Lance couldn’t remember. 

“Do you feel well rested?”

Decently.

“Did you take a shower this morning?”

He… he couldn’t remember. But probably?

“What word did I give you?”

Lance opened his mouth.

He…

He knew this, but…

But…

“Lance,” Coran prompted gently. “What word did I give you?”

It had started with a C-sound. Or maybe a K. 

Canary?

Carnivore?

He felt his throat growing tight. Why couldn’t he remember? 

“I, I don’t know.”

“Does ‘cow’ sound familiar?” Coran asked.

No.

That wasn’t right.

“What about caterpillar?”

Lance gave a tiny shrug. Maybe? 

“That was the word, my boy,” Coran said softly. “Do you remember why I asked you to remember it?”

Lance shook his head.

He felt like he might cry at the stricken looks around the room, only Coran able to give him anything resembling a normal expression.

“He’s suffering severe short term memory loss,” Coran said, addressing the group as a whole. “Retention seems to be about two minutes at maximum and constant repetitions do not aid in understanding. His memory seems to be recalling to about…” he ticked on his fingers, “about five phoebs ago.”

Lance blanched.

Five _months?_

He had forgotten five whole months of his life?

“It is progressing quicker, I think, than whatever caused this state began with,” Coran continued. “As yesterday morn, according to Number Five, Lance was aware he was the Red Paladin and such a large jump from that information to what he believes now signifies this is moving fast.”

“What could have caused it?” Hunk’s voice was small. “Is… is he going to forget…?”

Hunk didn’t say it but Lance heard it.

_Everything._

“We shall not let it reach such a point,” Allura spoke firmly and somehow her words and her small, if shaky, smile directed at him made the queasiness lessen and he actually felt his cheeks darken at the fact Allura, the _princess,_ was pledging to help him.

But he’d…

He’d probably forget it. 

“We must put our own heads together and determine when this first began, or at least a viable timeline, and coordinate a solution,” Coran said. “As I can only assume this is not natural to humans and must be from an external factor.”

“Humans do have a disease that makes them forget things,” Pidge said quietly. “But, but it’s normally far later in life and not this quick.”

“Amnesia is possible too,” Hunk said, “but it’s normally from some type of head wound, or…”

His gaze slid over to Shiro before he colored and looked away.

“No, you’re right,” Shiro said quietly although he was looking at his hands. “I… I do have memory loss of my… of my times with the Galrans. Some of it could be related to Druid magic but I’m sure other parts… other parts are my own repression of the events.”

“Shiro…” Allura murmured and Pidge moved to his side, placing a hand on his knee. 

“I am of the opinion it remains some external factor,” Coran said. “An encounter, perhaps, with some form of magic or even a very unfortunate reaction to foreign flora or fauna.”

“We have not gone planetside in nearly a movement,” Allura mused. “But,” she frowned, “prior to that we were on several planets within three quintants for both Coalition activities and one distress beacon.”

Lance remembered none of this. 

He was actually trying to figure out _why_ they were all gathered on the floor of the training room and having a discussion. 

Ah!

It would be a training simulation, one of those survival ones Shiro was fond of. That made perfect sense. He tuned back in just as Pidge let out a gasp and flapped her hand excitedly. 

“Wait! Wait! Remember when we were on Holian for the distress beacon and we were fighting those weird antelope creatures? The…” her excitement faded and Lance felt his stomach clench for a reason he couldn’t entirely explain. “The ones that we thought might be robobeasts?” she finished quietly. “And robobeasts are made of…” she swallowed. “They’re made by Druids.”

“No,” Hunk shook his head. “That, that can’t be…”

“We destroyed all of them,” Shiro said “We stayed together as a group and fought them. Everyone was wearing their helmets and no one reported any injuries. There’s no way…”

Even he though didn’t look entirely convinced by his logic.

“Let us return at once to Holian,” Allura decided. “We shall speak with the village leaders and examine one of the,” her nose wrinkled, “corpses of the beasts and see what we can learn. It is,” she met Lance’s eyes, “our best lead insofar.”

“Um, that’s great news, Princess,” Lance smiled at her, “but, uh, a lead for what?”

xxx

“It was a trap,” Shiro’s voice was flat although something far, far angrier lurked beneath the surface. 

Lance shivered and looked around the desolate planet they had landed on, charred remains of trees and the outline of a village all that was left. Something prickled on the back of his neck, something that told him this place was _dangerous_ even though he had no idea why. 

Shiro saying it was a trap though might have something to do with it. 

Maybe.

He wasn’t entirely sure why they were there. 

“But how?” Pidge asked quietly. “How did they attack Lance?”

Lance started.

What?

He’d been attacked?

“It’s okay, _hermano,”_ Hunk said softly, the arm he’d draped over Lance’s shoulders giving him a squeeze. “You’re… you’re okay.”

“I think we need to run a more in-depth scan,” Coran said. “I’ll start prepping a pod posthaste.”

Lance shivered.

No.

He didn’t want to go into a pod.

Hunk squeezed him again. “It’ll be okay,” he promised. 

“I’ll contact the Blade,” Shiro said, pulling Lance’s attention. “We’re gonna need Keith back here.”

Lance frowned.

Why was Keith with the Blade? 

He didn’t voice it though as no one else looked surprised. 

“I shall consult the library,” Allura said. “I… I do not know much about Druid magic, but perhaps my own…”

“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Shiro said. His eyes met Lance’s. “I promise.”

Lance didn’t know what _this_ was but he believed any promise that Shiro made. Shiro didn’t break his promises.

He wouldn’t break this one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who left a comment last chapter, I really appreciate it :) Fanfiction is meant to be engaged with, not just a page click or a like and gone. It means so much to hear from you and I'm glad so many are enjoying the story :) Thanks to quite a few engaged readers you've earned yourself a one week update (the quickest available), whoot! And as they say... things for Lance are going to get a lot worse before they get better (if they do, jajajaja).
> 
> If you are enjoying the fic, please leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!). Emotional support and validation for authors is super important and your comments mean the world. **_Please, please, please_** don’t just be a page click or a kudo. Thank you! Also fyi; comment engagement will dictate the update schedule :)
> 
> (Like my works? Want to read more? Find details on my [Tumblr, icypantherwrites](http://www.icypantherwrites.tumblr.com)).


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💥 **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)💥**  
> 

“Hunk,” Lance’s voice was panicked and high and it immediately roused Hunk. “H-Hunk.”

He rolled over on his bed and came face to face with Lance kneeling next to it on his mattress that Hunk had dragged from his room. A sleepover, Hunk had smiled and tried not to make it too forced, sounded like fun, didn’t it? Just like old times. 

Because he could not trust Lance to be on his own. Not at the rate he was regressing and it _terrified_ Hunk that they still didn’t know how to fix it.

They’d gotten back from Holian and Coran and Hunk together had coaxed Lance into a cryosuit and into a pod. Lance had never said it outright but something up here had made him hesitant of smaller spaces and Hunk hated that that memory, or maybe not even that but that fear, was still here. If Lance had to be losing memories why could he not have lost the one that made him so scared?

The scan had at least had results. Not good ones, but it did have answers that the handheld diagnostic had not provided.

And it showed that something was messing with Lance’s quintessence.

Druids, Allura had whispered, horrified, as they gathered around the pod and waited for it to finish its scan, Lance’s face at least peaceful behind the glass.

The entry point seemed to be from a small section on Lance’s back, a barely there scratch that had already healed. Probably, Pidge said darkly, from one of the creature’s horns. Lance wouldn't have reported it as an injury either as it likely didn’t hurt too much and he didn’t, Hunk gestured weakly, like the pods. 

The foreign quintessence had infected Lance then, crawling through his body until it had reached his head, where Coran reported it still remained. But… but it had literally melded with Lance’s own and there was no safe way to remove it. 

The foreign quintessence itself was not dormant and likely only fueling the attack. Whether it was acting as the Druids had hoped it to or whether a human’s biology was altering it they had no way of knowing.

Lance’s body, Coran said softly, may be trying to fight it off in whatever way it could, and given that it had latched onto his brain it had started shutting off parts of it to try and isolate the problem, the first apparently being memory centers.

Coran said he feared that if it continued memories may not be the only thing to go. 

Eventually… eventually he might forget how to speak. To walk. To… to breathe. 

Lance could die.

Pidge had suggested freezing him in the cryopod until they could find a solution but Coran had said the quintessence would not halt with such a method; it was a living thing that naturally replenished itself and so long as Lance drew breath so to would it.

They needed a solution. And _fast._

But if anyone were to figure out a quintessence based attack it would be the Alteans. And, well…

All they could do now was research. 

So they had.

Or, well, most of them did. 

Lance couldn’t be left alone due to his extremely short recall, which Coran continued to test. He would remember feelings far longer than the thoughts that put them there and he was in a constant state of nervousness that he was trying not to show but it was so, so obvious to them all now. So Hunk and Pidge had stepped away from perusing Altean tomes and databases in the hopes that _something_ would make sense and had instead gotten Lance to play video games. Racing, they’d settled on, as the looping track no matter where Lance clued back into would be a familiar concept.

And it almost felt normal. Lance was laughing and trash talking and Pidge was responding in more vulgar kind and they had a bowl of the space equivalent of popcorn and plenty of juice pouches of Lance’s favorite flavor (similar to pineapple) and it was a fun night.

Except there were constant reminders that it _wasn’t_ normal. 

The biggest had come when Hunk had exclaimed after Pidge had beaten Lance on the second race in a row, “ _She does it again!”_ and Lance had whipped his head from the screen with a shell-shocked expression and gasped, “ _Pidge is a girl?”_

Seven months now lost, Hunk had despaired. Two more months ticked off in a matter of hours.

He’d misspoken, Hunk had assured him as Pidge made a spectacle of being mistaken for a girl and just because she was tiny did not mean anything asshole and in two minutes Lance had forgotten it all again even if he had been giving Pidge a few extra glances, something confused in his expression.

They had decided to play along with wherever Lance thought he was in the timeline as trying to explain things to him made him scared and anxious and sad (Hunk would never forget the small voiced “ _I’m not Blue’s pilot?”_ nor the way it had made Allura flinch as though she’d been struck) and since those feelings tended to linger and no one wanted Lance to feel like that they did what they could to make him comfortable.

And that was why Hunk insisted on the sleepover. Given the rate of decline… he was afraid Lance might wake up and not remember even going to space.

He hated that he’d been right. 

“Lance,” he murmured and that was all the prompting the other boy needed to scramble into Hunk’s bed and he buried his face against Hunk’s chest.

“Hunk,” he whispered, muffled. “Wh-where are we?”

And this was the tricky part.

They couldn’t hide they were on a spaceship, couldn’t hide the fact Allura and Coran were not human. 

Hunk wanted to try though. At least push it off for just a little longer.

“This is just a dream, Lance,” he murmured, rubbing a hand on the slender, shaking back. “Just a dream.”

“B-but…”

“Just a dream. And it’ll… it’ll make sense when you wake up. Just close your eyes, _hermano._ It’s okay. I’m… I’m here.”

Hunk felt Lance shudder out a breath and most of the tension bled out of his frame. “ _Gracias,_ Hunk,” he whispered, calmed.

Hunk felt tears spring to his eyes. 

He kept them there until he heard Lance’s deeper breaths of slumber and then he let them fall, silent sobs shaking him as he held Lance in his arms as though that would be enough to protect him.

Hunk cried himself to sleep knowing things would not be better in the morning.

xxx

They were worse. 

Hunk awoke to Lance struggling to free himself from both Hunk’s arms and the blankets in a clear state of panic and muttering so fast in Spanish that Hunk couldn’t catch a word. 

“Lance, Lance, hey,” he interjected.

Lance stilled.

“H-Hunk?”

“That’s me,” Hunk tried to force a smile into the words but he knew it fell flat. Still, he pulled his arms back to allow Lance some movement and scared ocean eyes flew to Hunk’s face. Hunk felt a sudden pang of guilt and horror as until that moment Lance hadn’t been able to see who was literally pinning him to their body in a strange room.

God.

What had his mind conjured?

But now that he’d identified Hunk, Lance went limp in his arms and the stark terror faded although he still looked confused.

“Hunk, wh-where are we? What’s happening?”

“Shh, easy,” Hunk murmured, drawing Lance back into a hug and relieved when Lance returned it. “What… what do you remember?”

“We… we stayed up late?” Lance phrased it as a question, uncertain of even that. “We, we have that big test in Iverson’s class today… I, I think?”

Lance had regressed all the way back to the Garrison.

God.

“Actually,” Hunk tried to think on the fly even though he knew, ultimately, it wouldn’t make much difference, “we already had that test.”

“We did?”

“Yeah. And, and our scores were so good that we got selected for a special project.”

Lance looked hesitant about the first half of the sentence but he perked up by the second part.

“A special project?”

“We’re… we’re in a simulation right now. Of a spaceship. But, but not ones we’re used to. Ones that the uh, communications team designed. I woke up first so I got briefed but we’re supposed to go exploring now and document our findings.”

“Oh cool,” Lance looked excited now and it was such a nice change from the earlier fear and confusion that Hunk didn't even feel guilty about the lie.

It’s not like Lance would remember it anyway.

“Is Pidge here? Do we have to find him first?”

“Uh, yeah, he’s here,” and God that sounded so _weird,_ but Hunk pushed past it. “Let’s go find the bathroom first, maybe? And then head out?”

They did that after changing back into their street clothes from the pajamas — Hunk was grateful that other than a weird look Lance shot at the unfamiliar garment he didn’t question it, too excited for their assignment — and while Lance, as he had expected, spent a chunk of time washing his face he’d texted Pidge and Shiro the newest updates.

 _We’re in the kitchen,_ Pidge had texted back. _Keith is here too._

Hunk had been wondering when Keith would arrive, on a mission when Shiro had first contacted the Blade but they’d put it at an emergency. He felt an immediate wash of relief knowing the other boy was back on the ship as Keith wasn’t the same, hotheaded person he’d once been and—

Oh.

Wait.

To Lance that would be the Keith he knew.

The one that had gotten kicked out of the Garrison. And Shiro would still be missing.

Well…

They’d just have to play it by ear.

Lance forgot twice on their way to the kitchen what exactly was happening but it had only taken a little prompting that they were on a Garrison assignment for him to nod and grow even more excited, increasing as they walked the halls that were beyond anything they could have imagined prior to getting to space. He let Lance choose the direction but gently guided them in a roundabout fashion to the kitchen where they would need to intersect with the others sooner than later.

Hunk braced himself as they entered it.

Allura was not there but Coran was seated at the table across from Pidge, food goo in front of them both, Keith was leaning up against the kitchen counter and Shiro was (who had let him by the kettle?) at the stove trying to boil water. 

Lance’s mouth fell open comically wide as his eyes darted upon all of the figures. He couldn’t seem to figure out who to focus on first; the alien, his rival or his hero (who looked far, far different than Lance would know him as).

“He really doesn’t remember?” Keith broke the silence, brow drawn in a way Hunk recognized not as consternation but concern.

It pulled Lance from his stupor.

“I could never forget your ugly mullet, mullet,” he scowled. “What are you doing here anyway? You got kicked out, remember?”

Hunk watched Keith swallow, hands whiten where they gripped his sleeves of his Earth clothes he must have changed in to when he arrived, and it was he who had the bad memory now of just how… _intense_ the early relationship had been between Keith and Lance; Lance always feeling like he needed to catch up and prove himself and how it had only made his self-worth when he failed crash a little more each time. Being forced to work together to pilot Voltron, to fight literally for their lives, had brought a new perspective to Lance and he knew Keith had changed for the better too. But right now…

Right now it was not good and Lance, already reeling as his emotions and information continually restarted would only feel more defensive.

“And I am Coran,” Coran suddenly popped up out of his seat with an overbright grin. “The artificial intelligence of this simulation. And this,” he crossed the room and lifted Shiro’s arm up just as he had for the Voltron Show, “is Hero the Shiro, my assistant.”

Pidge’s snort into her food goo and Shiro’s look of mixed resignation and irritation at the role made Hunk’s lips twitch and Keith’s harsh grip on his arms lessed somewhat. 

Lance still didn’t seem to know how to react.

“I, uh, discovered this goo,” Pidge said quickly, drawing his attention. “It’s edible. Want to try some before we start our mission?”

“Heck yes!” Lance was all smiles again and he slid into the seat next to Pidge and pointedly turned his back on Keith. “Alien food for the win!”

While Lance was sufficiently distracted for the moment Hunk sidled up to Keith, who had remained rigidly at the counter.

“You okay?” he asked quietly. 

“I forgot how...” Keith said in answer, waving a hand towards Lance’s back.

Hunk understood all too well.

“We’ll get him back.”

Somehow.

Keith gave him a weak smile. 

“I’m gonna join Allura in the library,” he said. “Stay… stay out of the way.”

“Same,” Shiro said, Coran giving a nod next to him. “Given where he’s at right now… all we’re going to do is confuse him.”

It was probably for the best.

“Keep us posted, Hunk,” Coran said and the use of his given name only underlined how severe the situation was. 

Hunk and Pidge ended up steering Lance to a conference room Coran had set up for them to emulate a study hall and Hunk had managed to convince Lance they needed to do some reading for their mission and sign off on forms and by the time he’d been situated he’d already forgotten what exactly the parameters were. 

Hunk moved it to just a quiet study session and review and he spent the next hour quizzing Lance on first school subjects and then one of Lance’s favorite topics of pop culture and memes all while Pidge continued to do research on her tablet.

“Hey, Hunk?” Lance asked as there was a pause while Hunk tried to think of a new topic to discuss as while Lance might not remember doing it ten times over he did and he couldn’t afford to let his own despair at that show. He lowered his voice and brought a hand up to block his mouth from view of the other side of the table and darted his eyes across it to Pidge. “Who’s that?”

xxx

Pidge left the room shortly thereafter, shooting Hunk an apology text but her presence would just make things more confusing now too.

Hunk hadn’t missed the hurt and brimming tears as she’d glanced over her shoulder at Lance on her way out.

Hunk couldn’t imagine how it felt to be forgotten.

He was scared for when his time came.

Hunk had just gotten Lance comfortable in the lounge watching a movie when the first stage had happened as Lance had looked away from the screen towards Hunk and let out a shout of surprise.

_“Hunk! You’re… you’re old!”_

He’d glanced down then and panicked at the fact he was apparently an older teenager too and that had terrified him more than an aged Hunk as he _didn’t remember it happening_ and there was no logical explanation to it. It had taken Hunk the better part of an hour to calm Lance down (if him shaking and looking like a deer in headlights was an improvement) as he kept re-panicking. Hunk had managed to pull from him that Lance thought they were fourteen — _fourteen_ — and Hunk had had his massive growth spurt around fifteen.

Lance wasn’t just jumping days and months now.

He was jumping _years_ in a matter of hours. 

At this rate…

He’d desperately made a transmission call to Coran as Lance had remained huddled in a blanket on the couch; afraid of Hunk, afraid of his own body and all of it just making him more scared, and pleaded to know if they’d found anything yet.

Maybe.

Allura wanted to try something.

And at least one thing was still familiar as even though Allura was clearly not human she was still beautiful and Lance’s mouth had dropped and he’d straightened up even as his cheeks flushed and he’d only gotten redder as Allura asked him in her accented tones if she could touch his head.

Lance had barely managed to nod.

It would have been amusing in any other circumstance, Lance literally speechless and as red as a cherry even with his tan complexion, as Allura’s hands rose up to cup the sides of his face, but it wasn’t.

Because all of this was wrong.

Allura’s hands had started glowing a soft pink and Hunk had stared, mesmerized himself now, and Lance’s eyes had slid closed, an actual peaceful expression starting to fill his face.

Hunk felt his heart lurch with hope.

And then Lance had screamed as the light turned black.

Allura had yanked her hands back as though burned — and she _was,_ Hunk saw with horror as blisters covered her palms — but his attention could not remain on her as once her hands were removed Lance’s scream of utter pain cut off with a startlingly silence and he tipped over.

Unconscious, Hunk had discovered as he’d dove for him, frantically feeling out a pulse. 

Not dead.

Allura had babbled apologies, as distraught as Hunk had ever seen her, her own hands, hurt as they were, gently brushing against Lance’s cheeks, smoothing his bangs back. She’d thought… But it hadn’t worked.

And she…

She didn’t dare try again. 

They’d agreed to let Lance remain as he was, unconsciousness moving eventually into the deeper, even breaths of sleep, as being awake was only confusing him. It might, Allura had suggested gently, be better if they put him in a cryopod. While it wouldn’t slow the infection for lack of a better term it would keep Lance comfortable.

But maybe, Hunk had argued, her power surge healing thing had done something. Maybe… maybe Lance had gotten better.

They agreed to wait it out and see. 

And as Hunk knelt by Lance’s side, unable to leave him for even a moment, he hoped for the best.

And he waited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... :D :D :D Some of you may notice the fic was extended to five chapters; no content changed but I realized how jam-packed chapter three was and decided to split it. Also, our narrator has changed because Lance alas has become incredibly unreliable. Hunk, as his childhood best friend and really, his brother, makes an excellent stand-in though :) 
> 
> Please remember, fanfiction is meant to be engaged with. _**Please, please, please**_ don’t just be a page click or a kudo or a bookmark. Instead be an engaged, appreciative reader and leave a comment to show said appreciation and give the author a little love for sharing their work. Share a favorite scene, line of dialogue, comment about the writing style, a character, an observation, a guess for future chapters…Thank you so much to those who do ♥ 
> 
> As a reminder, comment engagement will dictate updates for this fic. For your reference, update options include: 1 week, 2 weeks or 3 weeks (and y'all earned another 1 week update this go around, nice job! See, that wasn't so hard and thank you for the support! ♥). Hopefully will see you all again sooner than later :)
> 
> 💥 **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)💥**  
> 


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of Spanish in here if you'd like to pull up a translator :)

Lance slept for nearly four varga.

They used that time to continue to research, to apply a balm and salve to Allura’s hands as she could not heal them — the dark quintessence had attacked her, she’d whispered, and… 

And she was terrified she’d somehow made it worse. That the hours and months Lance’s mind had been jumping might somehow, now be…

But even if her attempt had somehow made things worse, Hunk would never blame her for it. She had been trying to help and they were plucking at straws as it was. And they didn’t know. It could have worked, it could maybe have made things better.

He had to hope. 

It was all they had as research continued to yield nothing and Allura was as scared as Hunk had ever seen her because she was the _only_ one who could possibly do something and her last attempt had no doubt physically hurt Lance, hurt herself, and they still didn’t know what it had done and if it had indeed made it worse…

Could they risk her trying again? Or would…

Would doing so kill Lance?

Hunk considered himself a pretty patient person, but the waiting was slowly killing him.

For all he knew it was killing Lance. 

And so when Lance finally began to stir, to mumble and twitch limbs, Hunk had held his breath with hope. 

And in hindsight, Hunk despaired, they should have just put Lance into a pod.

Because this…

This...

 _“¿Dónde estoy? ¿Quién eres tú? P-por favor, quiero irme a casa,”_ Lance spoke quickly, voice high and gaze wild as it darted all about the room and the people clustered in it and around him as everyone had gathered as the day grew long and answers were nowhere to be found except in the possible hope Allura’s try had worked. _“¿Dónde está Mamá? Por favor, por favor, quiero irme a casa.”_

“Lance,” Hunk shifted forward and Lance _shrieked,_ scuttling backwards as long limbs he didn’t know how to use flailed and he cowered in the corner he’d been trying to get to before the unfamiliar body had sent him tumbling from the couch and onto the floor.

_“¡Lo siento! Lo siento, por favor no me hagas daño. No sé cómo llegué aquí. Lo siento. Por favor, quiero irme a casa.”_

Hunk felt his heart twist. He spoke Spanish pretty well from growing up in and out of Lance’s home, but not at the rapidfire rate mixed with sobs Lance was choking it out in. Even so, he caught most of it.

Lance thought they were going to hurt him.

He had no idea who they were.

He wanted his mom.

He wanted to go _home._

Hunk wondered where that was for Lance right now. Cuba, he would guess, as he’d met Lance very very quickly when he’d moved to Arizona. That would put Lance at… under seven. 

He’d dropped another seven years in four hours.

God.

What…

What happened when he ran out of years?

“H-Hunk,” Pidge stuttered. “What, what is he…?”

“He’s terrified,” Keith said it bluntly. “Of us.”

Hunk couldn’t respond to them, eyes only for the shaking form of his best friend.

He had to fix this. 

At least… 

At least until they could get Lance into a pod. Lance would be the most comfortable that way for when…

When...

Hunk chased the thought away.

“Lance,” Hunk kept his voice soft, trying to speak past the tears clogging his throat. “ _Mi nombre es Hunk. Estoy aquí para ayudarte. No te haré daño. Lo prometo.”_

Lance did not stop crying, tears coursing from ocean eyes, but he hiccuped on his next sob and for the first time met Hunk’s gaze.

_“¿Sabes… sabes dónde está mi mamá?”_

“No,” Hunk answered honestly. “ _Pero puedo ayudarte a encontrarla. Todos podemos,_ ” he carefully gestured at the gathered audience. 

They would all help.

Lance sniffled, still tucked as best he could away and hands pressed up by his heart. He seemed to be trying to weigh his options but Hunk knew he would need to decide fast before the short term memory kicked in and they restarted all over again. 

_“Ven conmigo,_ ” Hunk held out his hand. “ _Encontraremos a tu mamá.”_

And to his great relief Lance slowly but surely reached out one of his own hands and gently placed it on Hunk’s open palm. Hunk gave it a gentle squeeze. One of Lance’s greatest strengths (and weaknesses) was his ability to trust, to see the best in others, even when he was this frightened and confused.

“Hunk?” Shiro asked, his own voice low as Lance slowly inched out of the corner, his own fingers now wrapped about Hunk’s hand. “What’s going on?”

“He thinks we’re going to look for his mom,” Hunk said softly. 

Allura made a sort of quiet choking noise and she hurriedly turned away but not before Hunk saw tears and guilt anew brimming in jewel bright eyes.

“I… I think…” Hunk swallowed. “I think a pod might be…”

“It is already prepped,” Coran said equally quietly. “He’ll… he’ll have pleasant, dreamless sleep.”

The older Altean’s voice was thick with knowing.

Hunk blinked back his own brimming tears as Lance was looking at him for trust and hope and he couldn’t break down crying now.

“We should hurry,” Hunk said as he coaxed Lance to stand up, the boy quiet as he gazed around at them all, fear turning to the moment surprise and curiosity as he caught sight of Coran’s ears. “Before his short term memory restarts again.”

“Restarts.”

Pidge’s voice was something Hunk couldn’t identify but her eyes…

There was hope.

His breath caught.

“I need to… I just…” he could practically see her thinking. She whirled to Coran. “How much time does he have left?”

Hunk winced at how _blunt_ the question was was.

But how could Lance’s death be anything but?

“He’s already regressed to solely his native language,” Coran said. “Given the rate, he should be losing the ability of speech I’d say… in the next half varga. And then his coordination followed by his body’s ability to sustain itself before… before the foreign quintessence…” Coran counted on his fingers, a gesture so familiar it made Hunk’s chest ache. “I would say… a varga and a half, maximum two.”

Pidge nodded.

“Keep him out of the pod if you can. I’ll be back soon.”

And she took off at a dead sprint. 

“I’ll go with her,” Shiro announced, hanging awkwardly back as though not sure what to do.

Hunk more than understood. He really didn’t either. 

“Hunk?” Lance gave Hunk’s hand the smallest pull as his eyes still flicked nervously about the assembled group. _“¿Mi mamá?”_

 _“Vamos a ver,”_ Hunk mustered up his best smile. “Come on,” he addressed Allura, Coran and Keith.

They moved slowly, Lance shaky on his legs. Hunk kept up a constant stream of reminders that they were going to find Lance’s mom to keep the thought in the forefront, to try and ward off what fear he could. Coran darted ahead to set up a bed and said gather some supplies.

When they were about two hallways away Lance’s legs buckled beneath him and only Keith’s fast reflexes kept Lance from striking the floor, catching him on one side while Hunk nearly unbalanced him pulling on their still conjoined hands.

“You’re okay, _estás bien, estás bien_ ,” Hunk babbled. That was just the too large body, not the failing of limbs. Everything was okay.

Well.

No.

Nothing was okay.

But it wasn’t to that stage yet.

“ _Lo siento,”_ Lance sniffled. “ _Mis pies se sienten raros.”_

 _“Yo sé,”_ Hunk comforted. He couldn't imagine trying to walk with a body he wasn't familiar with was easy and he was just grateful Lance wasn't panicking this time.

 _“Gr-gracias,”_ Lance turned his attention to Keith, “ _por ayudarme.”_

“Thank you for helping me,” Hunk translated quietly. 

A complete one eighty of his earlier behavior towards the other boy.

“ _De nada,”_ Keith said as soft as Hunk had ever heard him and Lance sent him a shy smile back. 

They began walking again, slowly, Keith keeping one hand hovering at Lance’s back and they kept going slower and slower as Lance kept glancing over his shoulder.

“Lance?” Hunk queried as Lance came to a near standstill. _“¿Qué es?”_

“ _¿Quién es ese?”_ Lance whispered although his voice still carried and Hunk followed his gaze to where Allura was, who gave a small, somewhat awkward but endearing wave at realizing she was the focus now. _“Ella es ... ella es muy bonita.”_

 _“Sí, ella es,”_ Hunk agreed with a smile. He met Allura’s eyes and he fought to keep the smile at the guilt shining back. “He thinks you’re pretty.”

“Oh,” Allura’s hand went to her mouth and there was definitely a shine to her eyes now. 

Lance tugged on Hunk’s hand, gaze darting to Allura’s near tears and Hunk’s face. “ _¿Por qué está triste?”_

“Why is she sad?” Hunk translated quietly.

Allura made another choked noise and gave a small shake of her head. 

“She,” Hunk swallowed, “she didn’t do anything wrong. She tried to help. And, and no one here blames her.”

“Hunk…” Allura’s voice was thick and she audibly swallowed. “Thank you,” it came out a whisper. Her gaze turned to Lance and her lips pulled into a soft, gentle smile. “Thank you, Lance. _Gracias.”_

Lance beamed. 

And his legs buckled beneath him as he went to turn around and take another step.

“This isn’t going to work,” Keith murmured, meeting Hunk’s eyes as Lance struggled to get his feet beneath him. “It’s going to take us forever to reach the infirmary and…”

And as Lance regressed — quicker and quicker — the last place they should be trying to help comfort and calm him was in the middle of the hallway.

A light bulb went off over Hunk’s head.

“Lance,” Hunk summoned the boy’s attention. “¿ _Qué tal un paseo? Como un caballaito?_ ”

Lance’s eyes widened and then he _giggled_ and nodded.

“Uh, what?” Keith asked although there was a smile to his voice and Hunk could practically feel Allura relax at the sound of innocent happiness.

“He’s going to get a pony ride,” Hunk said, crouching down. 

He didn’t even have to give instruction as Lance looped his arms about Hunk’s neck and if it hadn’t been for Lance’s breathless laughter it was almost a familiar moment as Lance still regularly climbed aboard the “Hunk Express” for lifts or when he was feeling particularly homesick and needed the extra physical contact.

They reached the infirmary in a matter of minutes then and Lance was cheerful the entire way.

He had stopped talking though.

“Lance?” Hunk inquired gently as he, with Coran’s help, guided Lance to sit on the prepared cot piled high with blankets and pillows. “¿ _Estás bien?”_

 _“ ¡Bien!” _came the far too cheerful, wide grin response. 

Hunk’s stomach plummeted to his feet. 

That wasn’t the response of a six or seven year old. 

Four, maybe?

Lance was losing his memories and therefore his years far far faster than Coran had estimated.

“His vitals are still strong,” Coran reported softly, a scanner in hand that Lance was watching, both entranced by the light and Coran’s ears. “We… we still have some time.”

“Come on, Pidge,” Keith muttered.

As if summoned Pidge’s voice boomed over the announcement system. “ _Allura! Bridge now!”_

“Pidge—” Hunk tried and Pidge cut him off. 

“ _No time! Allura, now!”_

Hunk turned in the princess’ direction but she was already gone, just the tail end of her hair clearing the door. 

“What do we do now?” Keith asked.

“Keep him happy,” Hunk said, looking at Lance who was giggling and pushing with glee the disconnected control panel with buttons Coran had placed into his lap. “And…”

He swallowed and cast his eyes upwards. “Pray.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh roh. Things are doing downhill _very_ fast. And just in case it wasn't clear (I hope it is though ^^;) Lance's body is not de-aging; just his mind. He's still in his 17-year-old body but his mind is that of a child and getting worse. It's like... the worst case of dementia on steroids and it hurts to watch (my grandma is suffering heavily from it and I've seen a few others of you noting similar and sending love and hugs to everyone who has been touched in some way by this horrific disease). On a lighter note, I quickly added a whole scene in here just before I released it to my early readers ;p Five minute writing for the win xD
> 
> Thank you so much for the warm response last chapter. It means a lot because fanfiction is meant to be engaged with. _**Please, please, please**_ don’t just be a page click or a kudo or a bookmark. Instead be an engaged, appreciative reader and leave a comment to show said appreciation and give the author a little love for sharing their work. Share a favorite scene, line of dialogue, comment about the writing style, a character, an observation, a guess for future chapters…Thank you so much to those who do ♥ 
> 
> As a reminder, comment engagement will dictate updates for this fic. For your reference, update options include: 1 week, 2 weeks or 3 weeks (and y'all earned another 1 week update this go around, whoot! Thank you for the support! ♥). Hopefully will see you all again sooner than later :)
> 
> 💥 **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)💥**  
> 


	5. Five

The infirmary had fallen into a tense, horrible silence.

Hunk still preferred it to what it had been before.

Which had been watching Lance, his smart, sharp-witted best friend, slip into baby babble as his vocabulary went and then morphed further to only burbles and intermittent laughs mixed with cries, his face scrunched up as though in pain.

He probably was.

His body was failing him too.

He was lying down now as he couldn’t support his own upper body weight and his hands were clenching and unclenching weakly although even that movement had been slowing over the past ten minutes. 

His breath had been gasping noises and Coran had ended up feeding an oxygen line beneath his nose and then a mask over his mouth when even that wasn’t enough. His eyes had fluttered closed just a few minutes ago although his sleep was not entirely peaceful as his brow remained furrowed. A heart monitor had been attached to keep an eye on slowing beats. 

Hunk was holding his right hand and Coran his left while Keith paced from one end of the infirmary to the other like a lion in a cage, looking on every pass towards the bed, pausing, and then resuming his pacing.

Hunk certainly felt like they were in one.

There was nothing they could do except keep hoping that whatever Pidge’s brilliant mind had latched onto worked.

Otherwise…

It wouldn’t be long now.

The heart rate monitor gave a sudden blip and Hunk nearly jumped at the noise.

His heart jumped in response to the slowing of Lance’s.

It was too slow.

He was barely holding on.

The quintessence was literally going to shut down his body and there was nothing they could do.

“Lance,” Hunk whispered.

It sounded like a gunshot.

And then there was a giant  _ screech  _ and the entire room  _ shook,  _ Keith skidding a few feet across the floor (Hunk knew he’d have been somersaulting) and Hunk threw himself over Lance to prevent him from falling out of the cot while Coran secured the medical equipment. 

“We just landed,” Keith said, rising up from his crouch. 

The question was where.

And why.

The infirmary doors were set in the open position and so hearing footsteps in the hall a minute later wasn’t a surprise.

The appearance of Ryner from Olkarion though was not expected at all.

“Pick his head up!” she ordered as she raced towards the bed and Hunk didn’t even hesitate, yanking Lance up none-too-gently by his shoulders and his head lolled forward with the movement.

Ryner was there a second later, jamming a circlet in silver and green with sensors in soft yellow glowing all around it onto Lance’s head, pushing it down over his hair and positioning it so the largest yellow orb was dead center on Lance’s forehead while Pidge was yanking Lance’s shirt up and nearly slapping a flatter disc-like orb in the same color right above his heart.

“Stand back,” Ryner commanded as Pidge finished and Hunk didn’t want to, didn’t want to leave Lance’s side, but he did so in a blink because Ryner was going to  _ save  _ Lance. Pidge was next to him a moment later, slipping one of her small hands into his and he held on tight.

Ryner was holding a remote in her light olive hands, a matching glowing yellow orb to the ones in the circlet and on Lance’s chest. She pressed down and both lit up.

Lance’s body jerked.

The heart rate monitor gave a shrill beep.

It didn’t stop.

It had…

Lance’s heart had...

“No,” Hunk whispered. “N-no.”

That couldn’t be it.

But Pidge was standing resolutely at his side and Ryner’s expression was narrowed but not out of anger but of concentration. She twisted a dial on her remote and all the lights changed to white. She pressed it.

Lance’s body gave a violent jerk.

Nothing happened.

Ryner hit it again.

Lance jerked again but that time but the coded heart monitor cut off immediately.

A soft, welcome beep sounded.

And another.

And another.

Lance was…

His heart was...

“That should do it,” Ryner said, her voice loud over the soft beeps, tired but satisfied, and looking at the data screen on her remote. She turned from the bed to meet Hunk’s eyes before trailing them around the room. “Your friend will be all right now.”

“What… what just happened?” Hunk managed, his legs threatening to give out beneath him out of sheer relief as Ryner’s words registered.

Lance was…

Going to be okay?

“A restart,” the Olkari answered. “A brilliant suggestion by young Pidge here.”

Pidge blushed and looked down at her feet. “I’m just… just glad it worked.” She sounded as breathless as Hunk felt.

“The quintessence attack was feeding off of your Red Paladin’s own,” Ryner said. “It, along with his body’s own attempts to defend itself, were shutting it down. The only way to effectively stop it was to kill it, hence…” she gestured as she turned her remote to the yellow. “A shock with enough voltage to literally stop your friend’s heart.

“Stopping it though would not be enough,” Ryner continued. “The attack had, for all intents and purposes, rendered the Red Paladin down to his very last breaths, or, rather, his very first, and it was regressing backwards to where those first would become nonexistent. But as devastating as the quintessence in this case it is just that; quintessence. It did not actually physically damage the Red Paladin’s mind and as such it was intact. Just like his heart, it too needed a restart to what it was before the quintessence invaded. And so…” she mentioned at her device now lit up white. “That is what we did. Using the mind integrated technology of the Olkari and the quintessence knowledge of the Alteans we were able to override any final remnants of the tainted quintessence and essentially reboot your friend. He will have some memory loss as his mind should revert to where it was prior to the attack, but at most it should be thereabouts a week, not…”

Not what it would have been.

Hunk swept Ryner into a hug, the alien giving a soft “oh!” but she gently patted his back. 

“Will he wake up soon?” Pidge asked, having migrated to the bed where she was pulling off the pad on Lance’s chest— leaving a circle of irritated, red flesh behind — and then reaching up to remove the circlet.

“Soon,” Ryner inclined her head as Hunk released her. “A few varga, perhaps. His mind has been through quite an excursion; it is best to let him rest and he will wake naturally when he is ready.”

“And… and he’ll be okay?” Hunk had to clarify it again, now also back at Lance’s side and holding tight to his hand.

“Yes,” Ryner gave him a soft smile. “He will.”

Hunk let out a breath.

Allura and Shiro escorted Ryner back out, gratitude flowing like silk and honey from Allura’s lips and her eyes were decidedly wet again, while Coran set about pulling up chairs and Keith quietly offered to go make tea (the kettle had survived breakfast, he reported with a tiny smirk and Hunk had surprised himself by laughing so hard he cried) and they all wordlessly settled in to wait for Lance to wake up.

They passed the time quietly catching up as it had been over a week since Keith had checked in and while he didn’t talk much about Blade activities he was eager to hear what they’d been up to. Coran had produced an Altean card game that was very fluid in its rules and they were all gathered around Lance’s bed, playing atop his sheet covered feet, when they twitched, sending cards dipping to the side.

Hunk hadn’t let go of Lance’s hand the entire time — his other rotating between Pidge, Allura and Coran — and he gave it a gentle squeeze. “Lance?  _ Hermano?” _

Eyes were racing beneath closed lids and while Lance was no longer hooked up to the heart monitors or breathing masks Hunk could feel his pulse picking up as he left the world of sleep. 

Lance came to with a gasp and a shout, shooting to a sit so fast he nearly headbutted Hunk and even so Hunk felt his arm being dragged and he tumbled off his chair as Lance whipped around.

Lance whirled back just as fast and his eyes were wide, chest heaving.

Hunk felt a bolt of fear strike his heart.

Had it not worked?

Was Lance’s memory still muddled?

His brain?

“What,” Lance gasped, head swiveling around the room, and Hunk could have cried with joy at the actual word, “what happened to the freaky antelope?”

Everyone stared.

And then Pidge let out a weak laugh and Hunk followed and it was apparently contagious as everyone was suddenly laughing and clutching onto one another. Pidge threw herself at Lance and he caught her one-armed, his other still wrapped up in Hunk’s, and he looked so bewildered, but…

But happy.

Content.

He was really okay.

The laughter, some of it a bit more hysterical than probably intended, began to die down and as it dissolved into Coran just hiccuping Lance looked around the group, an easy smile on his face even if confusion still lurked behind it, especially as he caught sight of Keith who for all intents and purposes wouldn’t be in the castle right now in Lance’s current timeline.

“Okay, seriously though, what’s going on?” he asked. A week ago no one would have noticed but they had all become far too accustomed to hearing the hidden fear in Lance’s voice, the tremor not quite hidden behind the casual tone. “Is, is everyone okay? Am,” he looked down, as if just realizing he was the one in the hospital bed, “am I okay?”

“You’re okay,  _ hermano,”  _ Hunk reassured quickly before Lance became any more afraid. “And all of us are too.”

“What do you remember?” Pidge asked.

A more loaded question than what it appeared and Hunk held his breath.

This was it.

“Um,” Lance’s face screwed up. “Um, we were fighting those antelope creatures after a distress beacon? And then… then…”

“There was an incident,” Allura cut in smoothly although Hunk had released his breath.

He remembered.

Lance remembered.

“You were poisoned by one of the creatures, a robobeast,” Allura continued. “You spent the last week not… not quite yourself,” and if Lance noticed the slip he said nothing, concern painted on his features, “and we called Keith in,” she nodded to her side, “to assist in the event of an emergency. But you are all right now,” she placed a bandaged hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze and Lance seemed speechless from both the act and her wounds. “You are all right now,” she repeated, quietly, as though she too needed to hear it again to believe it. 

They’d determined that Hunk would be the one to tell Lance a more detailed summary of what had happened later that evening; he deserved to know but they did not want to overwhelm him or put him on the spot. 

“And,” Shiro spoke, voice solemn, “we’ve also learned a lot about listening.  _ I  _ have learned a lot about it. And I promise you, Lance, I will always listen to what you have to say.”

“Oh, um, okay,” Lance looked beyond confused, but he also seemed to know whatever this was had been necessary. “Thank you, Shiro. I… I really appreciate that. And, um,” he looked around the room. “Thank you all for… for taking care of me. I hope I wasn’t any trouble,” he said with a small, hesitant smile.

“You are never any trouble, my boy,” Coran said to murmured agreement around the room. 

Lance fully relaxed then, his smile genuine and open.

It was a smile, Hunk knew, they would never forget. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus concludes our story :) Thank you to those who left kind words about my grandma; I really appreciate it. This disease is so cruel to all who are affected in some way by it and writing a happy ending for Lance and his family here was a little cathartic for me ♥ I hope it made some of you smile too :)
> 
> If you enjoyed fic, please please do leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!) Emotional support and validation is super important and appreciated and your comments mean the world. **_Please_ don’t just read and run (or just leave a kudo >>)! Leave a comment! Thank you!**
> 
> 💥 **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com)!)💥**  
> 


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